This post was too long, but like Cruz's bible, this is just the good parts

[mneme]

Since nobody else seems to have beaten me to the punch (and why not? Even if his sex life is none of our business, his platform -makes- it our business, as do his Princess Bride impressions):


People keep wondering how Cruz got 5 women to sleep with him that weren't his wife. I'm guessing he took Miracle Pills. Or maybe they had the wine in front of him (Sorry, tried really hard to not make this a rape joke, but it writes itself :( )

Cruz keeps talking about "family values." I do not think those words mean what he thinks they mean.

Before this scandal broke, Cruz's campaign was only mostly dead. Now the only thing we can really do is go through it's pockets for loose change. Like these jokes.

Comments

[sdelmonte]

Scandal? What scandal? It was reported by a fifth rate tabloid. And if you read, say, the NY Times website, it doesn't even exist. And really, should we be wasting out time on this at all?

(Yeah, I know better than to expect reality to matter this year. But I have lost all patience with what is passing for a campaign and long for something, anything better.)

[mneme]

Apparently there's a lot more to it than the tabloid, given various confirmations from other journalists. But really, it's all good at this point.