My mother had a brother

Jun. 2nd, 2026 08:30 am
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[personal profile] susandennis
My mother had a younger brother who married young and then went to France for World War II and got killed. His wife remarried changed her last name and had a life. Over the years, as the eldest remaining relative that they can find, I've been contacted by veterans organizations asking this or that about Billy. It happened again yesterday. I don't know what made me answer the phone call but I did and a very nice old guy asked me to confirm some info they had about him. I did. And that was that. He was long dead before I was born and my Mom was not one to wax on about dead (or even alive ones, really) relatives. So my knowledge bank account about this guy is pretty lean. But mainly I wonder about a project that would have people calling people like me about people like him. Weird.

My mother also married a guy who was killed in World War II but I don't know where exactly. He was an only child. We used to go visit his parents when I was little. They lived in Oklahoma. They were a hundred years old then (it sure seemed to me) but had a great porch swing. I never get calls about him.

Yesterday afternoon Biggie was sleeping beside me on the couch. He was snoring loudly. And then, all of a sudden, he jumped up and RAN to the glass door. It was a second or so before I saw the reason. A nice big old fat bird was out on the terrace. Not one of those silly humming birds but a proper fat bird. He stayed out there for a long time. Hopping on the railing flying around. Biggie was on duty - sending stink eye signals the whole time and for some time after he left. That boy does love his birds. And that bird was sure lucky there was a door.

Today is water aerobics. And I slept late. So when I did wake up, I shot out of bed, into my swimsuit and managed to get in a lovely swim with time to spare.

I got an email this morning from Experian that my credit score had dropped. I checked Chase and BECU and while the scores are not the same, they are both fine 850+. So I went to Experian and clicked on log in. They wanted a password, then the answer to a question, then a pin number, then a secret code, but they never sent the text and I figured the next requirement was a blood sample so I just said fuck it. The only thing I buy these days that considers my credit score is insurance. All I got is car and I just paid it so fuck 'em. I actually should buy some renters insurance but I keep putting it off and one day I'll be dead and it won't matter.

I ordered 3 pairs of shoes from Zappos. They are downstairs in the package room and will be brought up here later this afternoon. I will keep one pair maybe or maybe none.

I have a collection of puzzle games on my phone. Each has a daily puzzle and I have become a slave to them all. Yesterday was the first day of the month and I got all of them done and even added one. About once a week some publication or another publishes an article that says that puzzles keep the brains of old people sharp. I figure if I can do a perfect month with each of these puzzles, my brain will be able to cut tomatoes. Now, wouldn't that be handy?! Of course, our tomatoes, here in the Northwest pretty much always suck so actually not that big a deal.

Today is also house cleaning day. But that's not til later. I have knitting and crochet to do and a good book to listen to and a ballgame tonight.

Julio is the perfect picture when he's sleeping.

PXL_20260531_211823484
[syndicated profile] alpennia_feed

Posted by Heather Rose Jones

Tuesday, June 2, 2026 - 08:03

When I work on the chapter for the book version of the Project that explains the various models of sex and gender, one of the hard parts is sorting out the chronology. Every author who works on this subject appears to have their own notion of when the changes happened and how they were promulgated in society. The simple fact is that social theories overlap each other, with multiple contradictory ideas of how human beings function occurring in parallel, even believed by the same people. The easiest way to demonstrate this is to consider all the different ideas and theories people have currently about the nature of gender and sexuality. There is no one uniform idea within a given culture. And yet our ideas shape how we interact and react to each other around the concepts in question.

Major category: 
Full citation: 

O’Driscoll, Sally. 2003. “The Lesbian and the Passionless Woman: Femininity and Sexuality in 18th century England” in The Eighteenth Century: Theory and Interpretation 44.2-3. p.103-31

I’m not sure why I haven’t done this article already is it gets cited a lot. There’s an interesting contrast between the conclusions of O’Driscoll and of Peakman 2004, which I’ll cover next. O’Driscoll concludes that the shift to the two-sex model begins early in the 18th century, while Peakman provides evidence that the older one-sex model was still prevalent through much of the century. Similarly, Peakman offers source material for a wide variety of models of lesbianism during the century while O’Driscoll focuses much more strongly on the Image of the masculine woman. All this is to say that one should never rely on a single source for interpreting a particular era, as each researcher may be looking at a different set of sources and viewing them from a different lens. A number of historians focus on the transition from the one-sex to the two-sex model and each has their own opinion about the timing and nature of the shift.

# # #

The motif of the passionless woman was invented by medical writers in the 18th century in England and then promulgated more generally initially via fiction. This totally upended the previous idea of female sexual desire, envisioning women’s sexuality as entirely distinct from men’s. This reversal can be seen especially sharply in realist novels, where early 18th century texts acknowledge the sexual desire of the heroines while novels later in the century develop the domestic novel genre that promulgates an image of female modesty that prevents both the experience and the expression of desire in women. But this image of the passionless woman was necessarily accompanied by two other literary types, although they were less featured in the texts: the masculine lesbian and the femme.

The passionless woman was not a natural emergence from British culture but was entirely a creation of medical theory in the context of the two-sex model. Medical discourse then infiltrated more popular literature such as moral tracts and anti-masturbation literature which incited specific anxieties about women’s sexuality. The idea that women were (or should be) naturally devoid of sexual desire needed to account for the feelings and behaviors of actual women by pathologizing it. Where earlier centuries would have assumed that women’s unlicensed desires would express themselves in fornication or adultery, now the fear was that it would manifest as private activity, including sexual activity with other women. If society pressured women to behave as if they had no heterosexual desires, then the remaining outlets for sexual activity were necessarily those that did not involve men.

Lesbianism was conceived in two conflicting ways: as mutual masturbation, that is, a reflexive and parallel activity between two women; or in the form of the masculinized lesbian who represents desire in a female body directed toward another woman who herself fits the passionless model. The femme partner in this last version points out the contradictions in the system as she is both “normal” woman and a participant in deviant desire.

[Note: Although this article talks about social changes in the 18th century, much of the evidence in that century can be considered the propaganda that tries to drive changes in everyday attitudes, with the general spread of those attitudes falling more in the 19th century.]

The next section of the article extensively reviews the historical theory around the shift from a one-sex model to a two-sex model and the associated changes in theories about sexual experiences and anatomical functions.

The change In theory necessitated a change in conduct literature aimed at women. Previously, control of women’s sexuality focused on lecturing women to control their sexual behavior, assuming that sexual desire was the baseline. But under the new model that assumed women were modest by nature, there was no need to impose modesty, rather the focus turned towards framing immodesty as unnatural and unwomanly.

Although literature was one instrument in spreading the new image of the passionless woman, it existed primarily in literary texts such as the domestic novel, while more popular forms of literature continued to include a wide range of images of female sexuality. [Note: It seems to me that this could be viewed as a class divide rather than a literary divide.]

The next section of the article focuses on the social panic over masturbation. Previously masturbation had been viewed as a moral issue in being a form of non-procreative sexual activity. The new model viewed it more in the context of medical and health issues, as might seem natural given that the whole idea derived from medical theories. While some early 18th century medical manuals allowed for positive uses of female stimulation to relieve certain medical problems, the genre of anti-masturbation literature was already arising and treating the act both as a cause and effect of mental and physical disease.

Anti-masturbation literature saw no clear distinction between solitary masturbation by women and mutual masturbation, that is, lesbianism. Female masturbation could be viewed both as a result of some bodily abnormality and as causing both physiological and medical abnormal conditions. The image of clitoral enlargement and clitoral penetration, which had begun circulating among medical discourse of the 17th century, now appears in masturbation literature as an accepted fact.

There is now created a causal chain whereby female sexual enjoyment is defined as masturbation, masturbation is tantamount to lesbianism, and therefore all female eroticism is pathology. Two ideas were promulgated that were in direct contradiction to the theory that women were naturally passionless. The first was the problem that if a directed campaign was necessary to discourage and eliminate masturbation this was in complete conflict with the idea that women were naturally passionless. They could not simultaneously experience no sexual desire and yet be addicted to masturbation. The second issue was the focus on female anatomy as the site of female eroticism and the insistence that sexual activity would revise the body into masculinity both physiological and psychological. That is, female sexual experience naturally creates lesbians.

While the 17th century had developed medical theories of the macro-clitoral tribade, the 18th century borrowed part of that idea, but rearranged cause and effect, such that rather than anatomy causing lesbian desire, it is the practice of lesbianism that causes aberrant anatomy.

Accompanying these changes in theories about desire and sexuality, are social changes in ideas about marriage and heterosexuality. When it was assumed that desire was not restricted by gender, then the controls on the expression of desire were largely moral. With the rise of the idea of companionate marriage and the restriction of authorized desire to that which occurred within marriage, there was a revision in the boundaries of what counted as sexual acts. Where heterosexuality had previously required mutual desire between male and female, now it only required male desire and female acceptance. Female desire had been redefined as inherently unnatural and unfeminine.

The 18th century realist fiction that served as propaganda for the passionless woman didn’t exclude lesbian figures, although it rarely explicitly identified them as such. Rather, the lesbian character serves to represent inappropriate female desire, which is to say any expressed female desire. She represents dangerous sexuality that must be rejected and punished. But at the same time this article points out that the lesbian character has also been domesticated. She belongs within the British setting of the novel rather than representing a foreign figure or one displaced in time to the classical era.

In literature, the ideal passionless woman can never desire the male character. Therefore she represents the fear that women will always choose women. And yet the femme character—the feminine woman who chooses a masculine woman as the object of her desire—presents an inherent contradiction. She appears everywhere in literature as the foil of the masculine lesbian: the wife of the female husband, the heroine enticed by the transgressive mannish friend. And yet she is culturally illegible. Given that she is not permitted to experience desire on her own, the object of her desire is illogical. Conversely if she does experience desire, then she is unfeminine and must become the masculine lesbian instead of desiring her.

The final sections of the paper examine the autobiography of actress Charlotte Charke and the fictionalized version of the trial of Mary Hamilton and how they fit in with this motif both as a literary works and as biographies.

In conclusion, the paper re-emphasizes that the idea of the passionless woman was an invention—one that needed to be imposed and propagandized in order to become normalized in society. At the same time, it was an idea that required the existence of a masculine lesbian figure and a nearly invisible femme figure in order to accommodate the ghost of female desire that had been banished from normative society.

Time period: 
Place: 
canyonwalker: Pill bottle and pills (being sick sucks)
[personal profile] canyonwalker
A few weeks ago I was chatting with my friend, David, about our experiences using GLP-1 medications. (I'm taking Rybelsus, the pill form of Ozempic; he's taking Zepbound.) I mentioned, "I weigh myself every morning" as a segue to talking about the results I'm seeing so far.

"Oh, you're not supposed to weigh yourself every day," David admonished, gently. "I was weighing myself every day at the gym, and one of my gym-friends there saw me and was like, 'Nooooo! You're only supposed to weight yourself once a weeeeek!'"

I understand why that friend-of-a-friend thinks you should only weigh yourself once a week. He's almost certainly aware that there are mistakes people make when weighing themselves every day. Thing thing is, "Weigh yourself just once a week" is the wrong solution. It's better to understand what those potential mistakes and work to avoid them. I call it Measure Frequently, Judge Less Frequently. (Okay, that doesn't quite roll off the tongue. I'm working on a snappier version of it! 😅)

The basic problem with checking your weight every day when you're working on losing weight is that weight loss doesn't happen smoothly and evenly. The first phenomenon that trips people up is that your body plateaus. The body tries to maintain equilibrium, so even if you're eating right and exercising to lose weight you'll see yourself weighing in at the same rate for 3 or more days at a time. Then your body will shed a week's worth of weight loss over a few days, then you'll plateau at the next level down for several days.

There are also instances where you'll actually gain weight, like a pound or two, while on a losing-weight plan. Those instances can be really frustrating! Thus it's important to understand they can happen even when you're doing everything right and not overreact. What can cause weight gain? It could be as simple as water retention. Eating salty food can cause the body to retain a bit more water. You'll lose it later; you've just got to get past the blip in weight.

I know my body tends to retain when traveling. I'm not sure why; I just know it does. So when I get back from a trip I know I'm going to weigh in at least 2 pounds higher than when I left. I know it's another type of blip so I don't overreact, e.g., by punishing myself with an austerity diet— "OMG, 2 pounds?! I can only eat rice cakes and celery sticks for the next week!" I know if I continue doing whatever's normal for my weight loss plan, those extra pounds will come back off soon.

So, yeah, go ahead and weigh yourself every day. Just don't overreact when you see plateaus and upward blips.

Checkin!

Jun. 2nd, 2026 09:26 pm
fred_mouse: drawing of mouse settling in for the night in a tin, with a bandana for a blanket (cleaning)
[personal profile] fred_mouse posting in [community profile] bitesizedcleaning

Thanks everyone on your comments on the last checkin; fabulous to see so many people making small progress. I do not have the oomph to reply individually, but I wish I did.

Instead! It has been a little over a week since the last checkin, and time for another one. What is one small win you have had in the last week in making your house a home?

UK people: trans rights

Jun. 2nd, 2026 02:11 pm
rydra_wong: Lee Miller photo showing two women wearing metal fire masks in England during WWII. (Default)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
At the time of writing, 41 42 46 MPs have signed the early day motion to reject the EHRC's new guidance:

https://edm.parliament.uk/early-day-motion/65938

Write to your MP to tell them to sign it! Praise them if they already have!

If you have Bsky, Trans+ Solidarity Alliance have a skeet about it you can boost:

https://bsky.app/profile/transsolidarity.bsky.social/post/3mnb3wyefxc2g

Scottish Trans (in collaboration with Trans+ Solidarity Alliance and TransActual, because the collaborative work going on here is so phenomenal) have an "email your MP to reject the EHRC code of practice" template form:

https://equalrecognition.eaction.org.uk/rejectthecode

The Hansard transcript of the response to Seema Malhotra's statement on the EHRC guidance yesterday is blistering:

https://hansard.parliament.uk/commons/2026-06-01/debates/CE610C68-7093-454F-B897-AF008EE7E7A0/EqualityAct2010CodeOfPractice
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[personal profile] james_davis_nicoll


Merchantship Loki is retired war criminal Bet Yeager's ticket off Thule Station and away from murder charges... but Loki offers hazards of its own.

Rimrunners (Rimrunners, volume 5) by C J Cherryh

Job Search: Beginning Anew Every Day

Jun. 2nd, 2026 08:08 am
dewline: Text - "On the DEWLine" (Default)
[personal profile] dewline
So I started the new search properly yesterday. I think I got a lot done, even though the progress is never immediately obvious.

I did get one bite right off, but the web software used to test for French language skills was having trouble working with my browser. As the company involved is one that I like working with and hope to work with again - and they're actively working to resolve the issue to our mutual satisfaction - I don't think I'm going to name them here.

Also, before my contract ended, I decided to finally get a license for Fontlab. I'd been wanting that for decades.

Decades.

Because I already have a Typetool 3 license, I was able to get upgrade pricing. Not much of a discount, true, and I am okay with that. I've resumed work on a pet font design project going back a couple of decades inspired by background stuff in DC Comics' Legion of Super-Heroes series.

Irregular Webcomic! #3140

Jun. 2nd, 2026 10:11 am
[syndicated profile] irregular_comic_rss3_feed
Comic #3140

Harsh. But at least if you're going to be criticised as talentless, you'd want it to be by people like Newton and Galileo and Halley, rather than, say, Ed Wood.


2026-06-02 Rerun commentary: Realistically, I do like to think I've made some sort of impact on the world. It might surprise some of you to learn that I don't consider this comic to be one of my most impactful activities. I'm more proud of the fact that for the last few years I've changed my career from research to education, and I have been teaching schoolchildren critical and ethical thinking. I've taught hundreds of children how to think critically about problems and issues, how to be tolerant, and how to consider ethical issues in their behaviour. I think in our current world, that's significantly more valuable than a webcomic.

(no subject)

Jun. 2nd, 2026 09:35 am
oursin: Brush the Wandering Hedgehog by the fire (Default)
[personal profile] oursin
Happy birthday, [personal profile] bearshorty, [personal profile] sylvaine and [personal profile] trinker!
sholio: shadowy man in trench coat (Noir detective)
[personal profile] sholio
I admit that I watched this mainly out of (morbid?) curiosity about what Nicolas Cage as Spider-Man would be like. Mostly I think it was about what you'd expect that to be like.

Spider-Noir - just the first episode )

(no subject)

Jun. 2nd, 2026 05:18 am

Bingo

Jun. 1st, 2026 11:51 pm
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
I have made bingo down the B and O columns of my 5-1-26 card for the Greek Myth Fest Bingo.  I also made 4 extra fills.  I had this stuff done a week ago, just haven't had time to post about it, and I don't have the time to list them all.

Round 3 Coming Soon!

Jun. 2nd, 2026 12:20 am
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[personal profile] devinwolfi posting in [community profile] beagoldfish
An orange banner with a goldfish silhouette in the center. It reads Be A Goldfish: A Multifandom Multimedia Microbang. Dated 1 July to 31 August 2026.

That's right, we're gearing up for Round 3 (2026-B) here at Be a Goldfish! This round starts 1 July and will run until 31 August.

We've made several updates to the RuleDoc (which used to be called the FAQ and then we realized it wasn't actually a FAQ at all) so definitely go give that a read if you're thinking about jumping in.

Among those updates, we've included a link to this round's prompts which have been expanded dramatically to include both prompts and mediums as well as links to several resources, some inspiration, and some fannish history. Now is a great time to check those out and start brainstorming!

We're also introducing a one-size-fits-all comment bingo to help guide, inspire, and encourage folks on their commenting journey. Our philosophy is that you don't have to be a creator to participate in a fanwork event. Commenters, as fans of fanwork are what make fandom go round, so if you're not feeling particularly creative right now, no worries, we would still love to see you around! Like the punch cards, we offer full color and black and white versions should you decide to take a more tactile approach. You can find previews of those cards and links to their folders in the RuleDoc.

We look forward to joining you all on this voyage of creativity, passion, and love for media, fandom, and the fans that make it all happen. We're gonna be sharing some more posts this month and later throughout the round, so don't think you've heard the last of us just yet.

If you have any ideas brewing already, feel free to share in the comments on this entry! Similarly, if you have any questions, comments, and/or concerns, leave a comment on this entry or on our Welcome Sticky.

Until next time!

Reading, Garden

Jun. 1st, 2026 09:20 pm
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[personal profile] ranunculus
My recent reading has either been complete fluff, or about soil management. Books with "No Till Farming", "Soil Biology" and "Bio Char" in the titles.  Reading about the advances in our understanding of soil biology  has been fascinating and useful.  All this reading, plus watching what is going on in my own garden, is continuing to alter the way I garden.  That plus the very warm spring we have had here means that I have tomatoes that have flung themselves up their trellises. Many are well over 4 feet tall with big thick stems, and have their first crop of tomatoes growing rapidly.  Some have struggled to set fruit, possibly because we are still getting swings of temperature that are 40 or more degrees F. between day and night.  Today it was 95F during the day, but the forecast low is 55. 
Chores for tomorrow are to finish unloading the fourth pickup load of wood compost, and start digging a ditch for a new faucet.  While I'm putting in a faucet I want to install a underground box for valves. It is long past time to set up timers on my beds. I've got all the stuff to do it!
My solar stuff was supposed to be here Friday, didn't come, was supposed to be here today, but no word.  The tracking on it just says "In Transit", which isn't very helpful.  

canyonwalker: wiseguy (Default)
[personal profile] canyonwalker
On each of our last two visits to Hawk's parents we've spent time clearing old & expired food out of their refrigerators and freezers. Yes, those words are plural. This pair of 80-something empty nesters have a large kitchen fridge/freezer combo (bigger than the one owned by the family of 6 I grew up in), a large commercial stand-up freezer, and two mini-sized (about 3' tall) dorm/office fridge/freezer combos. And all four of these devices were packed full.

Not only did Hawk and I throw out 3-4 bags of food during our April visit but we started our recent visit clearing out another 2 bags of food— including things that had been left to rot since our April visit. Then, late last week as our visit was winding toward an end, we cleared out yet another 2 bags of food into the garbage.

Part of the problem IMO is "out of sight, out of mind". Their fridges are not just "full" the way most people use that term.... They are literally packed so every cubic inch is occupied. Every shelf is filled 5 layers deep. And you cannot see any of the deeper layers until you peel off what's on top of them. As we dug through the topspoil into the permacrud in the commercial freezer we found food dated from 5 years ago. Nobody remembered it was in there. Once it got pushed behind 2 layers of newer stuff it became an artifact for archaeologists from the future to discover.

We sifted through the layers to figure out what to keep and what to toss. What we didn't toss, Hawk reorganized. She sorted things onto different shelves by theme. For example, "Frozen dairy products". She even took pictures of the freezer and diagrammed them with zones numbered 1-12 (yes, twelve) so FIL could figure out what's where. 🤣

While Hawk was doing some of the reorganization I patiently explained to FIL what freezer burn is and why it makes food unsatisfying to eat. Apparently he thought putting things in the freezer was like casting Time Stop on them. I showed him examples of bags with air in them that resulted in moisture being leached out of food in just a few months, while carefully vacuum-sealed foods might last a few years. I don't know if the lesson stuck. He seemed to be looking for a simple rule like, "Freezing any food makes it good for n months/years."

Another thing we did during the 11 days we were out there recently was focus on eating through food already in the fridge/freezer. We went out for dinner as a family exactly once, the first night we were there. And we did go grocery shopping for a main dish to have the second night, but after that it was all, "Hey, this thing we found in the freezer from [mumble] years ago looks good still, let's cook it." And we made sure leftovers got eaten, too. Eaten within 2 days later, or tossed out. Because leftovers that got tucked away and saved for months or years until they looked disgusting and nobody was sure what they were anymore, made up a big part of those 7 bags of food we trashed.

By the time we left Saturday, between throwing out multiple bags of food, eating through some of the stuff, and reorganizing the rest, we got to the point where a person can actually see what's in the fridge. Hopefully that will help them actually eat the stuff they've got, instead of constantly buying new stuff because they can't see 80% of what's in there.

Red Velvet "Feel my Rhythm" Icons

Jun. 1st, 2026 08:56 pm
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[personal profile] redsaturn posting in [community profile] fandom_icons
15 Red Velvet "Feel my Rhythm" Icons



here
@[personal profile] redsaturn 

Daily Happiness

Jun. 1st, 2026 08:36 pm
torachan: palmon smiling (palmon)
[personal profile] torachan
1. I got my hair cut this morning. I was worried that maybe my stylist was leaving the salon or something because I had tried to reschedule and their website was not showing any availability for her at all (like even checking several months down the line), but I think it's just that their system will only allow you to reschedule to the same day in a different week, and she changed the days she works, so since my appointment was on a Monday and she's no longer doing Mondays, it wouldn't show anything. I feel like their system used to allow you to choose a different day of the week and that's an annoying change, but there's always the option to call and reschedule that way, I guess. I'm just glad she's not leaving the salon!

2. We cleared a bit more space in the shed so it's easier to get the new bikes in and out. They're definitely a bit chonkier than our old ones (especially with them both having baskets). I had a couple fans in there that I'd been planning on putting out on the curb once it was warmer weather, so I took those out (now that we have ceiling fans in the living room and bedrooms, we don't need the stand-alone fans as much, and we've still got a couple in the house if we really need them) and some other stuff got reorganized a bit. It will be even better once I get some of the Christmas decorations transferred from the giant plastic tub they're in now to some smaller tubs that will fit on the shelves better.

3. Look at this sweet face!

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Joshua Kronengold

March 2026

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