Filk: Grew It Myself

[mneme]

This is far from new (in fact, it's 5 years old), but I just added a final chorus, plus I wasn't posting songs on LJ when I wrote it, so I figure it's about time to post it here.

If it matters (or even if it doesn't), this song is All Jordan's Fault. At Conjose, in 2002, at the tail end of a monster song (one of Gary McGath, probably, but it's not like I remember), he quipped "you can build a monster from things you find at home". Naturally, my brain latched onto this like a Lenore onto a Raven, and I spent the rest of the con, in my free time (which wasn't that much; I think this was Sunday night) worrying at the chorus. Did you know that patter songs were hard?

A fannish year later, at the 2003 Worldcon in Toronto, I still hadn't finished the damned chorus. But the fact is, cons are easily my best time for working on filksongs, so that and the fact that it dawned on me that it had had been a Whole Year and I'd still not finished meant that I'd completed and debuted the song by the end of the con, patter-song chorus and all.


("You can click on this cut tag with a mouse you have at home!")

"Grew it myself"(aka "You can build a monster")

By Joshua Kronengold
to the tune of "Do it Yourself" By Bill Sutton (which is itself loosely to the tune of Macnamara's Band)

I tried to buy a monster, but they told me I was mad,
That outside of late night movies there ain't monsters to be had.
So I'll show them all, destroy them with a creature of my own,
For you can build a monster from the things you find at home.

Oh, ILM and Sony, Disney, Pixar, Mirimax,
Dreamworks, Hammer, Universal, don't know all the facts.
They make big scary movies, but they wouldn't want it known,
That you can make a monster from the things you find at home.

Now, a monster is an animal that's grown to giant size
Godzilla's just a lizard,
I don't know how Mothra flies.
So I'll start with a small creature
stripped of collars, fleas and bows,
And my Fluffy soon will pounce apon the cities of my foes.

Oh, ILM and Sony, Disney, Pixar, Mirimax,
Dreamworks, Hammer, Universal, don't know all the facts.
They make big scary movies, but they wouldn't want it known,
That you can make a monster from the things you find at home.

Now then, I'll need a chemical, to make my monster grow.
I thought of fertilizer, but I think it's just too slow,
So I answered all the spam I got for just a couple hours
And with all the growth techniques they sent, I'll see my creature towers.

Oh, ILM and Sony, Disney, Pixar, Mirimax,
Dreamworks, Hammer, Universal, don't know all the facts.
They make big scary movies, but they wouldn't want it known,
That you can make a monster from the things you find at home.

Well, I grew my giant monster, but he's not quite what I planned
He rarely eats up buildings, he likes lying in the sand.
He's the laziest of creatures, prefers orchards for a meal,
But I'm satisfied 'cause Mirimax just offered me a deal

Oh, ILM and Sony, Disney, Pixar, Mirimax,
Dreamworks, Hammer, Universal, don't show all the facts.
They charge fifteen bucks a ticket, but they never want it known,
That their brand new movie monster was a thing I made at home!

Comments

[lisa-marli.livejournal.com]

::Giggle::
Very Nice!!
Glad it got finished.

[mneme]

Thanks! (me too!)

[madfilkentist]

I wasn't at ConJose, but I suppose someone might have sung something of mine there.

[mneme]

That's probably it.

[hms42]

This would go well in the Contata songbook... (Yes, that is a hint.)

[mneme]

Dude! It's, like, five years old! And more importantly...unless I misremember, it was in the 2005 Contata songbook.

But yeah, ok, I'll submit a song or three; it's not like I haven't written any in the last three years.

[hms42]

I just want a thick songbook. :) Ok. I didn't look in the Contata 2005 songbook (or Gary's index to confirm it.)

Songbook deadline is this weekend and I just arranged for 2-3 more songs for it.

[mneme]

Still, it's rude to submit too many songs for the songbook; it's the Contata songbook, not -my- songbook. :)

Yeah, double-checked, and "Grew it Myself" was in the 2005 book.

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

What you have created, it appears, is a giant ground sloth. They're extinct, but they really did exist, were mammalian, quite lazy, enormous, fond of eating orchards, and the most dangerous critters in their immediate vicinity (which also harbored, among other things, the sabertooth).

I hope you enjoy your sloth!

[mneme]

*giggle*

I was actually more visualizing a giant housecat. But hey, whatever works!

I've actually seen a recreation of a giant ground sloth -- they had a statue at La Brea -- quite impressive!

[ladymondegreen.livejournal.com]

So, inquiring minds want to know, are you going to grow the other six?

*ducks and runs*

[mneme]

*throws the plans for his envy-monster at you*

Oh. Oops. :)

[ladymondegreen.livejournal.com]

Hey, at least you didn't throw gluttony or wrath.

I envy your ability to play the harp, but I suppose I could learn when I have time ( ha ha ha )

Are you sure about those dates?

[maverick-weirdo.livejournal.com]

I have a vivid memory of you singing that at (I believe) Boskone in Framingham back in 2001

(Jordan Kare was the Filk Guest at Boskone in 2000, he could have made the comment following Gary doing a monster song then.)

Re: Are you sure about those dates?

[mneme]

I have a vivider memory of working on the song at a Worldcon in California -- which was either ConJose or Aneheim, and I'm thinking it was ConJose -- whatever first the one nightface came over for was. I'm quite sure I wasn't -at- the Boskone in Framingham as far bask as 2001; you're probably remembering a significantly later con (maybe the 2004 worldcon, the Boskone Done Large?)

[batyatoon]

I think you mean remora.

Also, yay filk. :D

[mneme]

Well, kinda. The problem was, the remora/shark simile is way overdone.

Now, Lenore, that I could get behind.

Ok, fixed. Kinda.