filk poem

[mneme]

uwf linked to Natalee Caple's "Happy Animal", commenting that the words were included for their sound rather than their meaning.

I agreed, but commented that were I writing it, I might have done more with the structure. So as an example, I wrote this.

Sappy Shamble

Copyright 2012, Joshua Kronengold (Inspired by Happy Animal by Natalee Caple)

Green birds love clean words,
And red birds love time,
Gold birds love old words,
And blue birds love rhyme.

Lizards love wizards,
And camels love sieves.
Night owls love light fowls,
And foxes love thieves,

The world loves the furled wing,
The moon loves the claw.
The sky loves the wry sting,
Of a thorn in my paw.

Comments

[pocketnaomi]

I really like this, but it sounds like it needs resolution of some type. The last verse goes straying from the animalian concepts in the first two. I might write one more verse and tie it back in somehow -- I know you're going for sound and not meaning, but meaning should play some part too, if it's going to feel right... a la Dr. Seuss' more wacky sound-play stuff. (Red Fish, Blue Fish, or There's a Wocket In My Pocket).

[batyatoon]

I like this!

[selki]

Ooh. I can't claim to get the meaning, but I like it, especially/including the ending.