Filk: On the Internet

I finished this (based, naturally, on some previous songs in the circle) about 20 minutes ago.
So no promises on it not drifting futher, but hey, fresh filk!

Up on the Internet (Magic)
by Joshua Kronengold
to the tune of "Under the Gripping Beast", by Cat Faber

For a cardboard box that's filled with cards, with five dots on the back,
Land, artifacts, and colored cards, red, blue, green white and black,
I bought them from some Wizards, from a land that's near the shore,
And should I keep on buying them, I'll die forever poor,

Up on the Internet is the price that they will pay,
For all my Magic cards, if sell instead of play,
But the pain of giving up my cards, no sorcery can heal,
So just until the next release, I will will keep my cards and deal.

I sat there the first evening, as I tuned up my first deck,
I shuffled and I played a game, and found that it was dreck.
But with a few more dozen packs, and tuning for an hour,
I found my deck could draw some land and tap it all for power,

Up on the Internet is the price that they will pay,
For all my Magic cards, if sell instead of play,
But the pain of giving up my cards, no sorcery can heal,
So just until the next release, I will will keep my cards and deal.


As I played, I needed far more cards to meet my decks' demands,
Rare creatures, moxes, fireballs, time walks, and multilands,
The next two sets released and shipped, and sold out in a night
And I resolved to get the next, if I had to wait 'til light,

Up on the Internet is the price that they will pay,
For all my Magic cards, if sell, and do not play,
But the pain of giving up my cards, no sorcery can heal,
So just until the next release, I will will keep my cards and deal.

My decks won me a tournament, Mr Suitcase they called me,
So now those cards could bring me lots and lots of cash money,
But the thought that I should sell them all is not one I can bear,
Not even though in Legacy, they find my decks unfair

Up on the Internet is the price that they will pay,
For all my Magic cards, if sell instead of play,
But the pain of giving up my cards, no sorcery can heal,
So just until the next release, I will will keep my cards and deal.